I've been told by society, for as long as I can remember, that in order to be successful, you have to be 1. Employed, 2. In a relationship or married, and 3. Popping out babies like a breeding mare. Here I am, 28, now unemployed, single and treating my womb like an unfertilized egg storage facility -by many people's standards, I have failed. Let me give you a little history on what has led me to this point of Bridget Jones-like spinsterhood.
I was raised by two phenomenal human beings, my mother Sylvia- who is a high powered exec at a national bank, and my father John- super swat/ motorcycle cop turned entrepreneur. Both of these people slay the world on a daily basis, pulling the kick ass income, rocking the suburban upper middle class home after having successfully raised 3 children. In short, my parents are fucking awesome. Having struggled to be this successful- sacrificing much so that we, their children, could succeed- they expected us to always strive for more.
Enter my two wonderful brothers, Keoni and Manu. They are all that you could hope for as sons. Popular, athletic, handsome and kind. Keoni is the middle child, he has been grabbing life by the balls since he was a kid. The man can turn $1 into $1000 without so much as breaking a sweat- he is driven, focused and detail oriented. He graduated with a BS in Business and works as a Financial Advisor, he just purchased his first home at 26. He is the male equivalent of my mother.
Manu is the baby of the family, the surprise and light of all our lives. Not only is this kid athletically gifted (and I do mean supremely), he is also one of the most kind and loyal human beings I have ever met. He scored a full athletic scholarship and will be the only one of us to graduate from college debt free. He is totally my father's dream come true.
Then there is me- neither athletic nor popular and instead of the tall, athletic figure of my brothers, I had inherited the Hawaiian body type of curves on curves. I grew up awkward and was admittedly, the black sheep of the family- but they loved me the same. While my brothers worked towards business savvy degrees, I achieved my liberal BA in Psychology- which propelled me into the measly $15/ hour position of an Adolescent Counselor. While my goals were noble, they were far from successful.
After a few years of struggling to get by, living in a basement apartment in SE Portland (not the hip side), I decided to try something different. At the suggestion of my favorite uncle, I went into the field of Domestics. I became a full fledged Personal Assistant, not to the run of the mill execs- but CEOs, Actors, Models etc. While the job looks glamorous on the outside- I can promise you, it is anything but (living out of a suitcase, eating tuna for energy and sleeping only 4-5 hours a night confused about what time zone you might be in).
As you can imagine, attempting to have a relationship with this kind of lifestyle is damn near impossible- the last guy I dated flat out shouted at me "I'm in a relationship with your cell phone and your voicemail"- which spurned me to cease dating, as it only seemed to complicate my stress filled life even more. And as for friends...you try explaining to your friends who haven't seen you in weeks that you need those 4 days off to catch up on sleep and laundry. So, I scaled back on my love life and pretty much ended my social life- making my job priority number one... and, as fate would have it, as of a week ago- I am unemployed.
So here I am, on the hunt to find my bliss and re-evaluating my life. With only the money in my bank account (thank god my mom taught me to be a savings queen) and my unyielding tenacity- I now have 3 months to figure out what on earth I am going to do. Feel like joining in on the ride? Join me!
I was raised by two phenomenal human beings, my mother Sylvia- who is a high powered exec at a national bank, and my father John- super swat/ motorcycle cop turned entrepreneur. Both of these people slay the world on a daily basis, pulling the kick ass income, rocking the suburban upper middle class home after having successfully raised 3 children. In short, my parents are fucking awesome. Having struggled to be this successful- sacrificing much so that we, their children, could succeed- they expected us to always strive for more.
Enter my two wonderful brothers, Keoni and Manu. They are all that you could hope for as sons. Popular, athletic, handsome and kind. Keoni is the middle child, he has been grabbing life by the balls since he was a kid. The man can turn $1 into $1000 without so much as breaking a sweat- he is driven, focused and detail oriented. He graduated with a BS in Business and works as a Financial Advisor, he just purchased his first home at 26. He is the male equivalent of my mother.
Manu is the baby of the family, the surprise and light of all our lives. Not only is this kid athletically gifted (and I do mean supremely), he is also one of the most kind and loyal human beings I have ever met. He scored a full athletic scholarship and will be the only one of us to graduate from college debt free. He is totally my father's dream come true.
Then there is me- neither athletic nor popular and instead of the tall, athletic figure of my brothers, I had inherited the Hawaiian body type of curves on curves. I grew up awkward and was admittedly, the black sheep of the family- but they loved me the same. While my brothers worked towards business savvy degrees, I achieved my liberal BA in Psychology- which propelled me into the measly $15/ hour position of an Adolescent Counselor. While my goals were noble, they were far from successful.
After a few years of struggling to get by, living in a basement apartment in SE Portland (not the hip side), I decided to try something different. At the suggestion of my favorite uncle, I went into the field of Domestics. I became a full fledged Personal Assistant, not to the run of the mill execs- but CEOs, Actors, Models etc. While the job looks glamorous on the outside- I can promise you, it is anything but (living out of a suitcase, eating tuna for energy and sleeping only 4-5 hours a night confused about what time zone you might be in).
As you can imagine, attempting to have a relationship with this kind of lifestyle is damn near impossible- the last guy I dated flat out shouted at me "I'm in a relationship with your cell phone and your voicemail"- which spurned me to cease dating, as it only seemed to complicate my stress filled life even more. And as for friends...you try explaining to your friends who haven't seen you in weeks that you need those 4 days off to catch up on sleep and laundry. So, I scaled back on my love life and pretty much ended my social life- making my job priority number one... and, as fate would have it, as of a week ago- I am unemployed.
So here I am, on the hunt to find my bliss and re-evaluating my life. With only the money in my bank account (thank god my mom taught me to be a savings queen) and my unyielding tenacity- I now have 3 months to figure out what on earth I am going to do. Feel like joining in on the ride? Join me!